Trial and Error
by Sabaku no Skyla
Summary: It's funny how just one more little misunderstanding can ruin everything. Bulma and Yamcha learn that the hard way thanks to an unexpected intervention by everyone's favorite "Prince Uncharming"!


Skyla Tribal's

--- Trial and Error ---

Ever since she was a little girl Bulma had been the adventurous type. There was no obstacle she couldn't overcome. Brains and beauty brought a girl places in the big, bad world, especially when accompanied by the strongest fighters in the universe. Why, her life was so amazing she could have written a book or five, but she pulled enough all-nighters with gadgets and gizmos as it was. The last thing she needed was another daunting task to tip the scale and mar her perfect complexion. Grazing her thirties was bad enough as it was, but she certainly didn't have to _look_ her age!

Speaking of age, she didn't know what it was that came over her, but she suspected the ticking of her biological clock subconsciously pushed her into it. One quick night of insanity, _one_, and she found herself a month later in the bathroom with the world's most accurate pregnancy test, processing the results. She bit her thumb. It just _couldn't_ be.

And to think, it all started from one petty little spat. The spat to ruin everything. She and Yamcha were finished after yet another legendary misunderstanding. It was their biggest fight yet, and needless to say he didn't show his face around Capsule Corp. for over three weeks, just enough to freeze Bulma's insides. She always counted on him, biding her time and waiting for the day he got the guts to propose to her. It was inevitable, them being on and off lovers for so long, him being the only man she more than cooed over. They were meant for each other and that's just all there was to it.

He never called, though, not even on Bulma's birthday. One more year down, and not a whole lot left to go before she was too old and withered to have a family of her own. Oh, how dare that darn Goku get married before her! When they first met he must have been the only one in the group with no interest in romance whatsoever, and yet he ended up being the first to start a family! It just wasn't fair. ChiChi wasn't even half as good-looking as she was either.

With such thoughts brewing and looming over her head Bulma did the only thing she could about it. She cried. The night of her birthday she went outside and wept openly at the sight of a night strewn with stars. It was so warm and cozy and beautiful. Normal girls would have their lover kneeling before them presenting the most stunning diamond ring money could buy. That should have been her and Yamcha years ago, but he was an idiot, holding onto his youth as hard as he could. Little did he know that his reluctance would cost him so dearly! Bulma was hurt and lonely. The night was so beautiful, and unlike her its beauty would never fade. It was just a matter of time before she got too old.

Before she could cry some more the hum of the nearby space ship faded into nothing, and the door hissed open. Drenched in sweat Vegeta walked down the ramp scowling with his fists balled to his side. He stared down at Bulma as though she was something hideous smeared on the bottom of his shoe. Her weeping ceased and she stared back at his angry face in shock, because he looked ready to kill.

"Great galaxy, you wretched sniveling woman. Take that blubbering someplace where I don't have to hear it, won't you? "

That dammed her floodgates sufficiently enough, though her eyebrows curled into an indignant "V" and she stomped up toward Vegeta, not only rivaling his own frustration, but making a point to wake up all of West City with a screech.

"Why you… how dare you! Do you have any idea what I'm going through? What day it is today? Well?"

"No, and I don't care! Get lost!" said Vegeta, who had to be the world's most unsympathetic person. _He has the personality of a stump_, Krillin said. Well, Bulma had to beg to differ. Vegeta's personality made a pile of horse shit sweltering in the middle of the desert look like flowers and candy. He was just a mean, mean person! He lived off her dime, ate her food, sucked Capsule Corp. fuel like air to power that damn Gravity Machine, and slept in and dirtied up one of their finest guest bedrooms with his filthy, sweaty clothing! And he had the gall, the balls to be so cruel to her, and on her birthday of all days! He had no right. Super Saiyajin elite, or whatever, he was just a guest in her home and he had _no business_ talking down to her like that.

"Get lost? Who do you think you're talking to, bud? This is MY HOUSE and I'll cry whenever and wherever I want to, and if you don't like it then YOU can get lost! AGGH!"

Vegeta's eyebrow twitched just the slightest bit. She knew he knew she had a point. No use trying to keep up that useless front. Mr. Tight Pants and Tighter Ass wasn't so brooding and mysterious. In fact, his whole badass act was beginning to bore her. Didn't Vegeta have any hobbies, or anyone he could spend some time with, or anything to do other than darken her doorstep and annoy her? No, _of course not_. He was just a lonely loser, doomed to the same fate as her apparently. Growing old, all alone and not even Yamcha gave her a call. It just wasn't fair.

So she stepped forward until she was just centimeters away from Vegeta, forced her face into his chest, and cried some more.

"It isn't fair!" said Bulma, pummeling Vegeta's chest with one fist. "You stupid men! All of you are stupid! Can't you see what's right in front of you? There's more to the world than just fighting, you know! What about me? Here I am, perfectly beautiful and single and still young, but all of you stupid, stupid, stupid fools are too BLIND and STUPID to see it! I'm not going to be young forever, you know!"

To say the least Vegeta was perplexed. His knee-jerk reaction ought to have been shoving her to the ground, but he hadn't tested his strength in normal gravity quite yet and killing her was way too possible. Granted he'd get a great fight out of that cursed Kakarot if he found out their precious Bulma was killed by him, but now wasn't the time to test his strength. He had yet to become a Super Saiyajin which was driving him completely mad! Why, if he could he would go on a massive killing spree to alleviate the tension, but again the time to face Kakarot was not neigh, damn it all.

So he had to stand there, waiting for the stupid woman to finish taking her frustration out on him. He had never even seen babies cry this much before. Of course most things he encountered didn't live long enough to cry. The sound was maddening. Unlike most things, _that_ was one he couldn't ignore while he trained, and now instead of peacefully crushing his body under intense gravity he had to deal with this chaos. Fortune graced him with incredible power and the highest place on the Saiyajin food chain, but that was where his luck ended apparently. Why wouldn't this stupid woman get a grip?

"Oh Vegeta," she said, sniffling and looking into his eyes. They were bloodshot and wet and almost desperate in a way, like she was crying for help. Whatever her problem was there was nothing he could, nor wanted to do about it. Why couldn't she take her issues to her parents, or that scar-faced idiot she often spent time with? He didn't have time for this!

Yet he was speechless. Those eyes flipped on something in him that he hadn't felt since he still lived on Planet Vegeta with his father. He was needed, though in such a way that was almost personal. Back then he was to become an heir worthy of his father's pride. That need ended along with his beloved home planet and race, yet for the first time in decades he felt it again. He would have ascended to the great throne of Planet Vegeta by now, and beside him he would have some generic queen. A queen worthy of producing an heir to surpass its father in strength, as Vegeta himself had done.

_Interesting time for this woman to say something meaningful for a change_. He saw her perfectly now. Though Earthlings were weaklings, they were not unlike Saiyajins. Many Saiyajins were born weak, but with brilliant minds. Bulma was a ditz for sure, but she helped design and repair the room he trained in, so at least one side of her brain was in excellent working order. _Yes._ It was all painfully clear to him then. No time to produce an heir was better than now, and to take her after a good bit of fighting, or training? That was very Saiyajin. Very Saiyajin indeed.

"Vegeta, you don't think a woman as beautiful as me should be lonely, do you?" said Bulma, her face inching closer to Vegeta's. He had half a mind to retort, but her lips were on his before he could collect his thoughts. One word did spring to mind, though. _Excellent._ He didn't have to bother courting her if she made the first move, and by Saiyajin code if the woman makes the first move she is obligated to finish what she starts if the man likes what he sees.

Vegeta wasn't sure if he liked it quite yet, but it was sufficient. He could practically smell it. One night with her and she would be carrying his heir. So he did quite the opposite of what she expected, he returned her fervor and carried it all the way into the space ship. It was a bit rough in there, but she didn't protest, and he didn't want to bother wasting time finding someplace more comfortable. Besides, having a tumble in training quarters was also very, very Saiyajin. They did it, and it was quick, and rough, and left Bulma sore for days. She could tell he was holding back a lot of his power, but thought he could stand to exert just a little more control. Also, would it have killed him to take five seconds out of his life to put on some protection? Or was that a foreign concept to him?

In any case, that night was the benchmark of unromantic. What's worse, Vegeta's attitude toward her didn't change in the slightest. He was still cold and rude. He wouldn't so much as look her way, let alone give her one of those incredible, numbing kisses again. He was awfully quick to have his way with her, as though his goal wasn't to please her, or even himself. His real goal had become apparent to her a month later when her third world's most accurate pregnancy test came back positive.

She slammed her fists against the bathroom sink and screamed. "NO! How in the world could I let this happen to me?" Her eyes brimmed with defeated tears in no time, and she threw open the bathroom door sobbing. How could she have let this happen? How could she have been so foolish? In one measly night that wasn't going her way she opened doors to Vegeta that most men only dreamed of and allowed him the privilege of destroying her life. It just wasn't fair. A girl as pretty as her deserved a conventional romance, a man that bought her dinner and roses and took good care of her. A man that would marry her and stay with her for the rest of her life. Vegeta was anything but that man, though. Who knows where he would go after the Androids were defeated? One thing was certain, he wasn't going to settle down and have a family. A man like him? Impossible! She was ruined. How could she be so stupid?

"Oh my, darling? Whatever could be the matter?" said Bulma's mother, rounding the corner with a full set of freshly brewed tea. She found Bulma in a hysterical state, curled up and sobbing on the sofa. In the doorway Yamcha stood, bashful and awkward, almost as though he were walking in on something he had no business walking in on. He obviously hoped that, as usual, he'd walk in on a Bulma happy and ready to see him. Their last fight was pretty intense, so he thought he'd give her a decent amount of space this time before making his return. Of course this separation had caused just the opposite of what he had wanted this time.

"H-hey Bulma? You gonna be OK?" said Yamcha, scratching the back of his head. Her sobs came to an immediate halt, the likes of which relieved Yamcha. If all went well she'd dry her tears and they'd be together again. This was not the kind of day where things went well, though. When Bulma turned to face him, the fury in her eyes was enough to kill anyone. He was surprised that he didn't fall over.

"You… YOU!" said Bulma, slamming her palms against the cushions. She threw herself up and stomped toward Yamcha, backing him against the wall with a very frightened look on his face. Why he didn't wet himself, the world may never know. "Oh, how dare you show your face around here after what you've done? You idiot! I'll have you know that you completely ruined my life! You are the absolute LAST person I need to see right now. You have NO idea!"

"N-no, I-I don't," he said, quivering from head to toe. As far as he was concerned their little fight from way back then, though bad, wasn't exactly "life ruining" was it? He couldn't even remember what it was about anymore. He just knew that by now he really missed seeing Bulma, so it was time to make himself known again, though apparently not. Apparently he had ruined her life somehow. OK, not going to argue with THAT when she was THIS mad, but an explanation would have been nice.

Or so he thought, until he found out exactly how he had ruined her life.

"Oh, FIGURES. Of all days NOW you show yourself. You couldn't have shown yourself on my birthday, though, could you? Do you have any idea how sad that made me?"

"I'm sorry," Yamcha choked out. He thought of calling her on her birthday, several times in fact. It was just too soon, though. It didn't feel right, and if she was having a good day he didn't want to mess it up. Boy what a mistake that was!

"You're sorry, huh? Well, "sorry" isn't gonna cut it, bub! Can't very well undo the past, can we? Oh, what have I done?" Bulma's tears resumed, and Yamcha stood flattened against the wall and horribly confused. Whatever it was Bulma did, it didn't look like she was going to say something anytime soon. He wanted to reach out and hold her, but since he was on her shit list he thought against it.

"Bulma darling, terrific news! That pregnancy test took came out positive, tee hee," said Mrs. Brief, exiting the bathroom. Yamcha's mind completely froze for a minute there. Pregnancy? Test? What?

"Thanks mother, but I kind of know that already!" shouted Bulma, further shoving Yamcha's perfect world into a frozen oblivion. How in the hell could Bulma be pregnant? They hadn't done it, not quite that far, in just… what?! She was always so adamant about "saving it for marriage" so what in the world got into her? This just couldn't be happening.

"G-gosh, Bulma. You're… ?"

"Pregnant? Yeah! So what! It's no concern of yours. You left me for good, remember?"

"How can you say that, Bulma? When have I ever left you for good?"

"When you didn't bother to call me on my birthday, that's when," said Bulma, jabbing his chest with her index finger.

"I'm sorry!"

"Saying that's not going to undo the past. I'm still pregnant, and it's still _your fault_."

"What are you blaming me for? I didn't make you go off with some other guy and… " _Some other guy._ There was never any other guy. She was just like him, all flirt and no action. Perhaps he should have gotten some action himself before his next great return, because she sure as hell did. And just what other guy was there? Most guys good-looking enough for her were no longer bachelors in the big city, and who of their closest friends stood a chance at getting with her?

"I was lonely. I wanted some companionship, and before I knew it he swept me off my feet. JERK!" she pointed that last word toward the window, and the thing Yamcha saw out that window brought everything to light then and there. The space ship. _Vegeta._

"NO. WAY. Not Vegeta! Anything but that! Bulma, you absolutely _can't_ be serious. Are you out of your mind?!" said Yamcha, horror-stricken. Despite living right on her property there was a reason why Yamcha did not picture Vegeta being remotely involved in this. This just wasn't a Vegeta-like thing to do. A man with _Kill-Kill-Kill-Goku-Kill_ on his mind 24/7 having any sort of sex drive didn't make sense, but obviously Vegeta was a man of many surprises, most of them very, very _bad_. This would have to rank somewhere among the top. Hell, this was probably even worse than getting killed by a Saibaman. What the _hell_?!

"Gee, thanks! That makes me feel _so_ much better. AUGH! Why are men such idiots? No compassion for little ol' me at all. Nooo. I'm just a crazy, stupid woman who now happens to be pregnant with some ugly, horrible alien's child! My life is finished, and nobody even cares."

"Oh, so Vegeta's the father?" said Mrs. Brief, the only one who seemed to be enjoying this. "I must go congratulate him! He's always struck me as the fatherly type!"

She walked out the door as bubbly and cheerful as ever, and Yamcha and Bulma just kind of blinked and stared at the doorway together. _That_ was weird.

"Leave it to my mother to completely miss the point!" Bulma huffed, then sighed.

"Well, l-look on the bright side," said Yamcha, that awkward grin of his returning to his face. "If your child's a Saiyajin I bet he could go after Vegeta someday and kick his butt if he doesn't treat you right! Huh?"

"Hey, you're right," said Bulma, slamming her fist against her palm. "Why, my little girl's going to be the strongest fighter in the universe, ohohoho. As well as the smartest, and most beautiful. She'll be like me, but even more perfect, just you wait!"

"That's right! She'll be a Super Saiyajin by the time she turns four, huh?"

The two of them laughed out loud for awhile. The situation was still pretty bleak. It certainly put a deep wound in any romance that was left between Bulma and Yamcha. It was only right that Bulma marry the man to whom she was bearing a child, but part of her still loved Yamcha. There was no use denying that a very, very small part of her was falling in love with Vegeta, too, though. She mostly suppressed that, knowing he'd make about as good a husband as a venomous snake, whereas Yamcha would've made a decent husband. He was a little fickle, but she hoped that with marriage and a family that part of him would change. She wouldn't be finding out, though. This relationship, as far as she was concerned, was over.

"So," Yamcha started, tapping his fingers together with a blush spreading across his nose. "If there's a small chance Vegeta's not in the picture, where do we stand?"

_So soon._ Bulma sighed again. It wasn't like he didn't break her heart first, but he just made a stupid mistake. She completely ruined her life. It wouldn't be fair to drag him into her mess, so she just lowered her head and shook it.

"I see." He was no longer looking at her, no longer smiling, though he expected as much. Bulma wanted what she wanted, and what she wanted was a real family. Her only hope was getting Vegeta to stay with her, and the odds of that were very slim, though she'd rather risk that than attempt a happy family in a broken home. He couldn't say he blamed her. He had the same dream, the perfect marriage, perfect wife, perfect family. He wasn't sure he could he could look at Vegeta's kid and love it as his own. "No, you're right. Might as well call this quits while we're still friends, right?"

"Ah, you mean it?" said Bulma, much happier then than she had been since he got there. To tell the truth he felt pretty miserable, and she couldn't be feeling a whole lot better. The news would kill Puar, too. And wait until the guys got a load of this. Yamcha lost to Vegeta in many ways. First he took his life, then his woman, and somehow Yamcha just couldn't resent the guy… yet. It all depended on how he treated Bulma from here on out.

"Yeah, you bet! I can't be this runt's dad, but I'll be his favorite uncle. I'll teach him everything I know!"

"That's nice, Yamcha, but you're forgetting. It's going to be a _she_ and _she_ is going to be the strongest fighter in the universe, do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal clear, four year old Super Saiyajin girl, and Vegeta won't stand a chance, ehehe."

---FIN---

**A/N:** And so he didn't. DUN DUN DUN. I think I will do a Vegeta x Bulma sequel to this, because I do want to write something that gives Vegeta some credit (he's my fav character, really!) It would just be hard because he just doesn't seem to care about his family all that much until the Majin Buu Saga. I mostly wanted to write a fan fic where Bulma and Yamcha end their relationship on friendly terms. I am tired of seeing Yamcha being a bad guy, you know? He is so sweet and goofy, maybe a cheater, but not abusive or mean. Also, the "four year old Super Saiyajin" is a reference to my fan fic "Super Bura" which you should read if you like my fan fiction. I love the idea of Bura being the strongest fighter in the universe, but maybe that's because I'm a girl lol. Anyway, please review!


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